Do Me a Favor

Oh, my dear dear BYU Bookstore. You had to do it, didn't you? You had to take my money. And then some. Oh, Bookstore, why do you torment me this way?

The Saturday sale is no big deal this week (at least to me). Utah and Western American history books or something. But, oh, there's a sidewalk sale, of many many... Bargain Books. The red stickers, the low prices, the "last chance! 50% off!" table... I thought I was done yesterday, when my father and I went through the books (after I spent all morning carrying heavy boxes and cutting apart empty boxes, earning many scrapes and scratches in the process) and paid together, both using the 20% markdown I got for helping set up as well as the 30% discount we owe to his job. But no! Today I was sent (by a supervisor who has apparently only recently realized I'm a competent employee) out to the tent to put away lost books. Which happens to be a never-ending project, by the way. And as I wandered around trying to find the plies I know I've seen somewhere, and put wandering books back in their places, and help people cart 50 pounds of books up to gift wrapping on the third floor, I found some books that I had somehow missed yesterday but had to have. Such as a helpful baby names book, a couple of children's fairy tales, and a boxed set of Sherlock Holmes.

So I bought them.

I shall not be able to eat for the rest of the week...

Saturday Sale, July 12

I really regret not taking the time to do a blog for last Saturday's sale, as it was a cool one. However, it has made me more determined to keep up. So, whether you like it or not, here is next Saturday's sale.

Buy 2 hardback books, get one free. The least expensive book will be the free one. This applies only to general book, and excludes children's books, religious books, church distribution items, and used books. Cannot be combined with any other promotion. Yadda yadda yadda.

There aren't really any books that fall into this category that I'm dying to buy (good thing, too, as I bought a camera, went out to dinner, bought some books, and bought supplies for my birthday party this Friday with this paycheck). However, I do have recommendations for anyone else who may have an inclination to buy and money to spend.

Gramercy Classics - you may have seen them. They are doing some of the classics, printing them in little hardbound books. I have fallen in love with this publisher; however, I have already bought their copy of Pride and Prejudice and the Bookstore only carries that and Jane Eyre. At least as far as I know. At any rate, these books are cute and relatively inexpensive.

I spoke of The Wit and Wisdom of Discworld on my other blog a while ago, a book I wanted and believed Goober was going to buy for me. I ended up buying it for myself. : D I would definitely recommend this to anyone who loves Terry Pratchett. It is, in a nutshell, all the best jokes from all of the books pulled into one.

Also in hardcover is Terry Pratchett's latest book, Making Money. I haven't read this one yet, nor do I know much about it, but it's Terry Pratchett, so it must be good.

Baby-gami by Andrea Sarvady. I must admit that I want this book. I have a baby sister, and I think it would be cool to carry her around and wrap her up so nice and neat. Yes indeed yes indeed... (If you read that last bit with a sing-song I'm-talking-to-a-baby voice, it will make sense.) This book gives step-by-step instructions that tell a mother, father, sister, brother, etc., how to wrap a baby in a blanket or other fabric. Less expensive than a carrier cooler, too.

If We Ever Break Up, This is My Book by Jason Logan. I once sat in the Bookstore after my shift and read the whole thing. I've never had a breakup, nor do I seem destined for one in the near future, but I really liked this book anyway. Checklists, pictures, pie charts, profound words... it's great.

I strongly recommend (as I will for every sale) that y'all just go and browse. There are many books that are hardcover, and I didn't look through every section or even write down all the ones I saw in the sections I did look through.

This=harder than I thought.

Twilight: A Crushing Romance

Tuesday, July 1:

It is generally agreed that the Twilight series, by new author Stephanie Meyer, is a safe romantic haven in a world littered with trashy smut and smutty trash. However, there are still dangers lurking about the seemingly innocent books, as a young BYU Bookstore employee found out today.

The Bookstore employee, who wished to be known only as 'Quiet Mischief,' was somewhat astonished when another Bookstore employee brought up a cart that had over 50 copies of Eclipse on it. QM knew that there were "at least three or four hundred" copies of the three Twilight series books in various places around the store, and she hadn't thought that more were forthcoming. However, knowing her duty, she loaded them onto a v-cart and took them to the display at the end of the Family Relations shelf, which already had about 200 books on it.

"I wasn't sure what to do," QM said. "I mean, here was a messy, tottering, pretty fully display, and I had a ton more books to add to it. After thinking for a while, I went to get a couple more v-carts so I could move enough of the books off to be able to organize everything."

She had just started moving the books to v-carts when it became apparent that they were even more unstable than she had previously supposed. Before she had time to move, the books fell, completely covering her while making a noise that drew the attention of half the store.

"It was crazy," said one Bookstore security officer. "We didn't even know there was a person under there until we had shifted many of the books. She was keeping still, afraid to send more books down on herself, and with her black shirt and red undershirt she blended right in."

The Bookstore spokesperson, when asked for a statement, assured reporters that the employee suffered no harm, but asked patrons to remember to pick up a full set of Twilight books for themselves and friends and family in order to prevent a repeat accident. "Remember that these are classics, books that will surely stand the test of time. Make sure you have enough; we recommend two sets, one paperback, for reading, and one hardback, for displaying with all the other great books in your home."

After being freed and thanking those who had helped her, Quiet Mischief stayed with the display for a full hour - the time it took to dust all the books and arrange them neatly and securely.

Books!

I'm having waaay too much fun over at Goodreads, and I haven't even started doing reviews yet. So far all I've done is find books I have read and put them on my 'read' shelf. And WOW have I ever read a lot of books. I don't feel remotely done, despite the 361 books I have already put in. I'm going to have to spend a few hours at the library to get close to finished.

And while I'm looking for books I have read, I keep finding books I want to read. These books, added to the books I have checked out/want to check out at the library and the interesting books I have seen at the Bookstore, make for more reading than I could finish in the next year, unless I dropped out of school to become a professional reader. Somehow I think my parents would object to this.

So many books, so little time.

Saturday Sale, June 28

It's Tuesday, which means it's time for me to talk about this Saturday's sale at the BYU Bookstore: 25% off all Travel, Hobbies, and Games books.

Travel is, well, travel. If you're planning to go somewhere, anywhere, then you can probably find a book here that will give you tips on where to stay, what to eat, what to see, and how likely it is that your pocket will be picked during your stay. If you aren't planning to go anywhere, you can buy the books anyway, and then it will look like you're a well-traveled person. See? Winning situation, either way!

Hobbies & Games is a much more interesting section, in my opinion. Mostly because there is a good chance I will be able to play games within the next five years, but I may not be able to travel for the next ten. Curse my insistence on college!

Several times within the past few workdays people have come up to me and asked, "Do you happen to have any books on Sudoku?" My response is, "Boy, do we ever!" at which point a conduct them to the Hobbies & Games section and indicate the four - or is it five? - shelves devoted to sudoku books. And there are all kinds - Ninja, Bronze/Silver/Gold/Platinum, White/Green/Brown/Black Belts, ones with Peanuts and Dilbert comics, ones on sticky Post-It like papers, 10X10 instead of the usual 9X9, and more. I'm not a Sudoku person myself - my brain doesn't work that way - but even I was somewhat interested in the World's Longest Sudoku - 21 feet long, with 167 puzzles and 8,929 empty squares to fill in.

Crossword puzzles are more to my taste (I am so a word person, and not a number person), and there are plenty of those as well. There's also a dictionary filled with answers, which would help me a lot, 'cause I don't know most of the people the crossword puzzles refer to. I am sadly lacking in knowledge when it comes to famous people, current, recent, or past.

There are also many books in between those two giants, such as Ken Jenning's Brainiac ("Didn't get enough of Ken on Jeopardy? Buy this book and keep him with you always!"), several books on chess (Including Chess for Dummies, which would cause my genius brother to roll his eyes), an Official Scrabble Dictionary ("HA! I told you 'pedophiler' wasn't a word!"), and folders for the 50 State Quarters and the Presidential Dollars (WARNING: counting on these folders to be your savings fund is not a good idea). There are also many Klutz books, including one that comes with a real dollar bill, a bunch of special cardboard cutouts that you can use to create a castle, a kit for painting rocks, another kit for painting hair, and the notable Encyclopedia of Immaturity.

Fun stuff. So, go to the Bookstore this Saturday and get some books!

Tune in next Tuesday to find out what July 5th's sale will be.

Edit: There is not one book that comes with a dollar and kits and stuff. There is one book that comes with a dollar, and another that has a castle kit, and another that has a hair kit, etc.

At Chillylint's Request

Ink runs from the corners of my mouth.
There is no happiness like mine.
I have been eating poetry.
The librarian does not believe what she sees.
Her eyes are sad
and she walks with her hands in her dress.

The poems are gone.
The light is dim.
The dogs are on the basement stairs and coming up.

Their eyeballs roll,
their blond legs bum like brush.
The poor librarian begins to stamp her feet and weep.

She does not understand.
When I get on my knees and lick her hand,
she screams.

I am a new man.
I snarl at her and bark.
I romp with joy in the bookish dark.

Eating Poetry by Mark Strand