Yes, my friends, BYU is in a bubble. Where else would so many young adults be either virgins or married with a bun in the oven, completely clueless when asked where the nearest bar is, and liable to argue about whether a bag with a strap that comes diagonally across the chest is modest? That's bally right: nowhere.

I myself am a staunch LDS individual. I go to church, read my scriptures, and heckle feminists and Democrats along with everyone else. (Just kidding about the Democrats. You're all my brothers and sisters. : D) I have been in The Bubble all my life; I was born in Orem, moved to Provo about ten years ago, and have been here ever since. However, I also like to think of myself as a fairly open-minded person, and as such, I am often amused at the mindsets of other people. As this is a blog about books, I will focus on the BYU Bookstore.

First off, the oft-heard "I can't believe they sell this here!" Ahem. Yes. We do. We do sell art that can be seen as inappropriate: books of photos, some of which are of immodest/semi-clothes/naked people. We do sell books with swear words and books that talk about sex. Speaking of which, there are still far too many copies of Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, and Breaking Dawn hanging about. We do sell books about, and yes, even obviously supporting other religions. I myself have recommended He's Just Not That Into You, a book that is 1% swear words, 4% stuff about sex, and 95% great advice that is applicable to any girl, LDS or heathen or in between. (Which, yes, we sell at the bookstore.)

This is okay. Seriously.

Next up, yes, we do carry People magazines and the like. Quite complaining about it. (And yes, they are meant to be bought, not just read while one sits in the Bookstore and then returned to the shelf. Sheesh.)

Lastly (yeah, short list), there is the issue that has me almost constantly rearranging books in the art section. Y'see, it's the art section. Some art is of naked or seminaked people. This is, apparently, Bad, and I should not draw attention to these books. Or so some people think. How do I know they think this? Because when I put a book face out that has on the cover a piece of art that includes full or partial nudity, I almost always return to find it turned back in again.

Come on, folks. It's art, and usually depicted completely un-erotically.

P.S. Fun fact: Breaking Dawn came out about a week and a half ago. We have already sold over a thousand copies.

Books and Boredom

So, mates, despite flying off the shelves every since the Epic Release of the Epic Fourth Book, there are still far too many copies of Twilight books hanging around the Bookstore. Please, go buy them so I'll stop finding them everywhere!

In other news, the sale this Saturday is 25% off bargain books. BARGAIN BOOKS. The ones that are ridiculously cheap anyway. Sure, sometimes there isn't much of a selection, but... I take that back. As long as you're willing to browse, there will be something to buy. So do it! Personally, I'm planning on a boxed set of Jane Austen, three children's books, and one of those "101 things to do with ____" cookbooks. I love those things.

Oh, and I'll be manning the General Book section aaaaaaaaaaalllll Saturday. The whole day. Really. More or less by myself.

I'm going to be so bored.

WARNING! THERE ARE DEFINITELY SPOILERS AHEAD!

OH GREAT HEAVENS ABOVE!!!!

You thought I didn't like Breaking Dawn when I posted the last post? YOU AIN'T SEEN NOTHING YET!!

I have been told, by a couple of different people, more about the the plot of that cursed book. Every bit more that I heard has only made me more upset.

1. Sue name for the Sue baby.
First of all, WHAT IS UP WITH 100 YEAR OLD SPERM MAKING A BABY? No. Just no. I don't see how someone thought this was plausible! In any way, shape, or form! And then there's the oh-so-helpful deus ex machina baby-growing-in-a-few-weeks. Heaven forbid Bella, aka Queen of all Mary Sues, should have to have an actual pregnancy. That would interfere with becoming a vampire! Can't let that get away! And then the name... Reneesme? Reneesme? Remees-freakin'-me?

2. Neatly wrap up all loose ends.
That heartbroken Jake? Ah, don't worry about him. That baby that could have proved to be something of a problem for Bella (read: a real plot)? No problem. Jake, meet... ah... must I really say the name again? And, uh, you kid? Meet Jake. One imprint, stupid nickname, and near murder later, MaryBellaSue hands over the dear kid to Jake. Takes care of them.

3. Avoidance of all plot.
What? Volturi? Aka another possible problem for Bella AKA possibly an interesting plotline to follow? Activate Vampire!Bella powers!

Takes care of that. Whew! Close call! We were that close to a real plot getting in the way of more Bella/Edward time!

4. Bella/Edward time.
Stop with the sex plzthx.

5. Bella.
Need I say more?

Oh, dear. Oh Meyer. Oh STE-PHAN-IE Meyer.

I hate you.

CAUTION. THERE MAY BE SPOILERS AHEAD. REALLY.

I'm not going to do it.

I refuse.

You can't make me.

Never never never in my long long life.

Oh what, dear friends, am I referring to?

Dear Sister Meyer's latest book. I will not read it.

Why why why? Why must this Twilight dreck be forced upon us? Why the hot Edward? Why the Sue!Bella? Why the entire far-too-perfect Cullen clan? Why the sparkling???

I admit it, mates; I read Twilight and rather enjoyed it. Then, despite not really wanting to, I read New Moon and Eclipse. (Kinda. Not all the way through; I would pick it up, open it in a random spot, read a few pages or whatever, and then put it down. I eventually read most of the content this way. Enough to get a pretty good idea.)

But I'm not even going to do that with Breaking WindImeanDawn, at least not if I can help it. (Yes, I know it's juvenile. But I got it from my parents.)

So here's what happened. We left camp early on Saturday so we could get home early enough for me to run to the Bookstore and take advantage of the wonderful wonderful sale - 25% off fantasy novels in General and Children's Book. (I got Elantris and Mistborn [Brandon Sanderson], Night Watch and Maskerade and Carpe Jugulum [Terry Pratchett].) While I was there, I noticed the displays and displays, plus some displays, of Breaking Dawn. Oh, and the older Twilight and New Moon and Eclipse, plus some Host, were also hanging out. And there were displays. Many of them. Seriously. (I left for the campout rather sad I couldn't work the party Friday night, but as I stared at the Milky Way through a ten-inch telescope, the party became rather insignificant, and by the next day I was very glad I had skipped it.) Anyway, I was, being myself, overcome with curiosity (what got me to finally pick up the second and third books, despite very much not wanting to).

I walked over to one of the displays, trying to look very nonchalant. I opened the book and read the chapter titles. I felt a little - worried? annoyed? when there were so few for such a big, fat, huge, brick of a book. Then, having read the first chapter like everyone else who cannot resist the siren call of these books, I did what I do best: open the book in the middle and read a bit.

Okay. That paragraph was odd. Let's try again.

Um, no. Different paragraph?

Who are these people, and why are they here?

That's it. I'm skipping to the end.

That's right folks, I did what I did with HP 7. (And yes, there were mobs of HP fans with pitchforks when I said this about that book.) I read the end. THE END! Oh, and what did I see? Nothing I didn't expect to see! Bella is a vampire, she and Eddie boy are happy as pie, she has a shield talent, and they have figured out a way for Edward to read Bella's mind. The end. Oh, and they're reminiscing about their honeymoon. Ick.

And, unlike reading the end of Harry Potter 7, reading the end of Breaking Dawn did not give me a feeling of peace with that particular universe and a plan to read the book eventually. No, reading the end of Breaking Dawn only made me feel like I should hurl the book across the room. Or scream. Or laugh hysterically. Thankfully, I did not quite decide I should give up on quality and in-depth writing for my own novels and go for cheap cliches in hopes some children's publisher would pick me up. I'm looking at the publishers of both Eragon and Twilight here, though I would take Twilight over Eragon any day. But that's a topic for another day.

So there it is, mates. I will not read that book. Ever. I will go see the Twilight movie, but I will be deeply ashamed and in disguise. And I will purify myself directly after.

Do you think I mentioned Bella, Edward, the Cullen family, Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, Breaking Dawn, and the Twilight movie enough for my readers to go up? I can hope!