Monday, October 20, 2008

A Writer's Perspective: Grave Sight by Charlaine Harris



I found this book while wandering around the HBLL, following a couple of people from my acting class as they tried to find a copy of the play we're doing a scene from. The new look and bright colors stood out from the usual HBLL fare - scuffed, a bit bent, and mostly pasted inside special one-color covers. I picked it up and read a page or two before following my classmates to the next shelf. Much to my surprise, the book was still in my hands when I got downstairs, so I decided I might as well check it out. And then when I got home I read it instead of doing homework. Oops.

The first thing I will say is that the premise is really very interesting. The main character, Harper Connelly, was struck by lightning when she was a teenager and now has the ability to sense where corpses are and, upon getting close enough, witness their final moments. A horrid poverty-stricken past and lack of marketable skills leads Harper to turn this strange ability into a job, with her stepbrother Tolliver coming along to act as bodyguard, support, companionship, and someone to run the check to the bank to keep the person who hired Harper from changing his or her mind about paying. (Apparently many people don't like being told how their loved ones died, despite hiring Harper to find out; the book includes a scene with an old woman who is firmly convinced her husband was killed by his ex-wife and nearly becomes hysterical when Harper informs her that the cat did it.)

This lifestyle requires Harper and Tolliver to be almost constantly on the move, especially since Harper has a "get in, find body, get out" mentality. However, when they are called to the town of Sarne to find the body of a teenaged girl, Teenie, things are a bit more difficult than usual. Teenie's been missing for over six months, and many assume her body is somewhere in the woods near where her boyfriend was found shot. The boyfriend's mother wants to clear up the town rumor that the boy killed his Teenie and then shot himself. But when Harper finds the body and tells everyone that Teenie was definitely murdered, and almost certainly not by her boyfriend, she and her brother find themselves in danger.

I did a bit of searching before starting to write this, and I was quite surprised to find out that, while this is the first book of the Harper Connelly mysteries, Charlaine Harris was already a well-established author when it was published. The plot line is rather a good one, but the writing seems rather amateur to me. For example, this paragraph: "Tolliver tossed down the aged magazine he'd been riffling through. He pushed himself up from the fake-leather chair. Tolliver's twenty-seven. His mustache has a reddish cast; otherwise, his hair is as black as mine" (Grave Sight pg. 5). First of all, that description of Tolliver's hair color comes out of nowhere, even when read with the rest of the page, and it goes nowhere. We get two sentences about hair color and then back to the plot. It's sudden and unnecessary. Secondly, this paragraph has is but one example of the flow problems that pop up here and there throughout the whole book. Notice that the first three sentences have no pauses and are all rather short. This similarity between them disrupts flow and can knock a reader out of the book, which is what happened to me several times. Very few things annoy me as much as being distracted while trying to read a good book, especially when the distraction is a problem with the book itself.

Even with that, however, this is definitely on my Recommended list. The plot is engaging, the characters are interesting (though a couple of the minor ones are a bit flat), and I love the talent that Harper has.

Does include profanity and one slightly descriptive sex scene.

Grave Sight by Charlaine Harris: 4/5

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Yes, my friends, BYU is in a bubble. Where else would so many young adults be either virgins or married with a bun in the oven, completely clueless when asked where the nearest bar is, and liable to argue about whether a bag with a strap that comes diagonally across the chest is modest? That's bally right: nowhere.

I myself am a staunch LDS individual. I go to church, read my scriptures, and heckle feminists and Democrats along with everyone else. (Just kidding about the Democrats. You're all my brothers and sisters. : D) I have been in The Bubble all my life; I was born in Orem, moved to Provo about ten years ago, and have been here ever since. However, I also like to think of myself as a fairly open-minded person, and as such, I am often amused at the mindsets of other people. As this is a blog about books, I will focus on the BYU Bookstore.

First off, the oft-heard "I can't believe they sell this here!" Ahem. Yes. We do. We do sell art that can be seen as inappropriate: books of photos, some of which are of immodest/semi-clothes/naked people. We do sell books with swear words and books that talk about sex. Speaking of which, there are still far too many copies of Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, and Breaking Dawn hanging about. We do sell books about, and yes, even obviously supporting other religions. I myself have recommended He's Just Not That Into You, a book that is 1% swear words, 4% stuff about sex, and 95% great advice that is applicable to any girl, LDS or heathen or in between. (Which, yes, we sell at the bookstore.)

This is okay. Seriously.

Next up, yes, we do carry People magazines and the like. Quite complaining about it. (And yes, they are meant to be bought, not just read while one sits in the Bookstore and then returned to the shelf. Sheesh.)

Lastly (yeah, short list), there is the issue that has me almost constantly rearranging books in the art section. Y'see, it's the art section. Some art is of naked or seminaked people. This is, apparently, Bad, and I should not draw attention to these books. Or so some people think. How do I know they think this? Because when I put a book face out that has on the cover a piece of art that includes full or partial nudity, I almost always return to find it turned back in again.

Come on, folks. It's art, and usually depicted completely un-erotically.

P.S. Fun fact: Breaking Dawn came out about a week and a half ago. We have already sold over a thousand copies.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Books and Boredom

So, mates, despite flying off the shelves every since the Epic Release of the Epic Fourth Book, there are still far too many copies of Twilight books hanging around the Bookstore. Please, go buy them so I'll stop finding them everywhere!

In other news, the sale this Saturday is 25% off bargain books. BARGAIN BOOKS. The ones that are ridiculously cheap anyway. Sure, sometimes there isn't much of a selection, but... I take that back. As long as you're willing to browse, there will be something to buy. So do it! Personally, I'm planning on a boxed set of Jane Austen, three children's books, and one of those "101 things to do with ____" cookbooks. I love those things.

Oh, and I'll be manning the General Book section aaaaaaaaaaalllll Saturday. The whole day. Really. More or less by myself.

I'm going to be so bored.

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

WARNING! THERE ARE DEFINITELY SPOILERS AHEAD!

OH GREAT HEAVENS ABOVE!!!!

You thought I didn't like Breaking Dawn when I posted the last post? YOU AIN'T SEEN NOTHING YET!!

I have been told, by a couple of different people, more about the the plot of that cursed book. Every bit more that I heard has only made me more upset.

1. Sue name for the Sue baby.
First of all, WHAT IS UP WITH 100 YEAR OLD SPERM MAKING A BABY? No. Just no. I don't see how someone thought this was plausible! In any way, shape, or form! And then there's the oh-so-helpful deus ex machina baby-growing-in-a-few-weeks. Heaven forbid Bella, aka Queen of all Mary Sues, should have to have an actual pregnancy. That would interfere with becoming a vampire! Can't let that get away! And then the name... Reneesme? Reneesme? Remees-freakin'-me?

2. Neatly wrap up all loose ends.
That heartbroken Jake? Ah, don't worry about him. That baby that could have proved to be something of a problem for Bella (read: a real plot)? No problem. Jake, meet... ah... must I really say the name again? And, uh, you kid? Meet Jake. One imprint, stupid nickname, and near murder later, MaryBellaSue hands over the dear kid to Jake. Takes care of them.

3. Avoidance of all plot.
What? Volturi? Aka another possible problem for Bella AKA possibly an interesting plotline to follow? Activate Vampire!Bella powers!

Takes care of that. Whew! Close call! We were that close to a real plot getting in the way of more Bella/Edward time!

4. Bella/Edward time.
Stop with the sex plzthx.

5. Bella.
Need I say more?

Oh, dear. Oh Meyer. Oh STE-PHAN-IE Meyer.

I hate you.

Sunday, August 3, 2008

CAUTION. THERE MAY BE SPOILERS AHEAD. REALLY.

I'm not going to do it.

I refuse.

You can't make me.

Never never never in my long long life.

Oh what, dear friends, am I referring to?

Dear Sister Meyer's latest book. I will not read it.

Why why why? Why must this Twilight dreck be forced upon us? Why the hot Edward? Why the Sue!Bella? Why the entire far-too-perfect Cullen clan? Why the sparkling???

I admit it, mates; I read Twilight and rather enjoyed it. Then, despite not really wanting to, I read New Moon and Eclipse. (Kinda. Not all the way through; I would pick it up, open it in a random spot, read a few pages or whatever, and then put it down. I eventually read most of the content this way. Enough to get a pretty good idea.)

But I'm not even going to do that with Breaking WindImeanDawn, at least not if I can help it. (Yes, I know it's juvenile. But I got it from my parents.)

So here's what happened. We left camp early on Saturday so we could get home early enough for me to run to the Bookstore and take advantage of the wonderful wonderful sale - 25% off fantasy novels in General and Children's Book. (I got Elantris and Mistborn [Brandon Sanderson], Night Watch and Maskerade and Carpe Jugulum [Terry Pratchett].) While I was there, I noticed the displays and displays, plus some displays, of Breaking Dawn. Oh, and the older Twilight and New Moon and Eclipse, plus some Host, were also hanging out. And there were displays. Many of them. Seriously. (I left for the campout rather sad I couldn't work the party Friday night, but as I stared at the Milky Way through a ten-inch telescope, the party became rather insignificant, and by the next day I was very glad I had skipped it.) Anyway, I was, being myself, overcome with curiosity (what got me to finally pick up the second and third books, despite very much not wanting to).

I walked over to one of the displays, trying to look very nonchalant. I opened the book and read the chapter titles. I felt a little - worried? annoyed? when there were so few for such a big, fat, huge, brick of a book. Then, having read the first chapter like everyone else who cannot resist the siren call of these books, I did what I do best: open the book in the middle and read a bit.

Okay. That paragraph was odd. Let's try again.

Um, no. Different paragraph?

Who are these people, and why are they here?

That's it. I'm skipping to the end.

That's right folks, I did what I did with HP 7. (And yes, there were mobs of HP fans with pitchforks when I said this about that book.) I read the end. THE END! Oh, and what did I see? Nothing I didn't expect to see! Bella is a vampire, she and Eddie boy are happy as pie, she has a shield talent, and they have figured out a way for Edward to read Bella's mind. The end. Oh, and they're reminiscing about their honeymoon. Ick.

And, unlike reading the end of Harry Potter 7, reading the end of Breaking Dawn did not give me a feeling of peace with that particular universe and a plan to read the book eventually. No, reading the end of Breaking Dawn only made me feel like I should hurl the book across the room. Or scream. Or laugh hysterically. Thankfully, I did not quite decide I should give up on quality and in-depth writing for my own novels and go for cheap cliches in hopes some children's publisher would pick me up. I'm looking at the publishers of both Eragon and Twilight here, though I would take Twilight over Eragon any day. But that's a topic for another day.

So there it is, mates. I will not read that book. Ever. I will go see the Twilight movie, but I will be deeply ashamed and in disguise. And I will purify myself directly after.

Do you think I mentioned Bella, Edward, the Cullen family, Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, Breaking Dawn, and the Twilight movie enough for my readers to go up? I can hope!

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Do Me a Favor

Oh, my dear dear BYU Bookstore. You had to do it, didn't you? You had to take my money. And then some. Oh, Bookstore, why do you torment me this way?

The Saturday sale is no big deal this week (at least to me). Utah and Western American history books or something. But, oh, there's a sidewalk sale, of many many... Bargain Books. The red stickers, the low prices, the "last chance! 50% off!" table... I thought I was done yesterday, when my father and I went through the books (after I spent all morning carrying heavy boxes and cutting apart empty boxes, earning many scrapes and scratches in the process) and paid together, both using the 20% markdown I got for helping set up as well as the 30% discount we owe to his job. But no! Today I was sent (by a supervisor who has apparently only recently realized I'm a competent employee) out to the tent to put away lost books. Which happens to be a never-ending project, by the way. And as I wandered around trying to find the plies I know I've seen somewhere, and put wandering books back in their places, and help people cart 50 pounds of books up to gift wrapping on the third floor, I found some books that I had somehow missed yesterday but had to have. Such as a helpful baby names book, a couple of children's fairy tales, and a boxed set of Sherlock Holmes.

So I bought them.

I shall not be able to eat for the rest of the week...

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Saturday Sale, July 12

I really regret not taking the time to do a blog for last Saturday's sale, as it was a cool one. However, it has made me more determined to keep up. So, whether you like it or not, here is next Saturday's sale.

Buy 2 hardback books, get one free. The least expensive book will be the free one. This applies only to general book, and excludes children's books, religious books, church distribution items, and used books. Cannot be combined with any other promotion. Yadda yadda yadda.

There aren't really any books that fall into this category that I'm dying to buy (good thing, too, as I bought a camera, went out to dinner, bought some books, and bought supplies for my birthday party this Friday with this paycheck). However, I do have recommendations for anyone else who may have an inclination to buy and money to spend.

Gramercy Classics - you may have seen them. They are doing some of the classics, printing them in little hardbound books. I have fallen in love with this publisher; however, I have already bought their copy of Pride and Prejudice and the Bookstore only carries that and Jane Eyre. At least as far as I know. At any rate, these books are cute and relatively inexpensive.

I spoke of The Wit and Wisdom of Discworld on my other blog a while ago, a book I wanted and believed Goober was going to buy for me. I ended up buying it for myself. : D I would definitely recommend this to anyone who loves Terry Pratchett. It is, in a nutshell, all the best jokes from all of the books pulled into one.

Also in hardcover is Terry Pratchett's latest book, Making Money. I haven't read this one yet, nor do I know much about it, but it's Terry Pratchett, so it must be good.

Baby-gami by Andrea Sarvady. I must admit that I want this book. I have a baby sister, and I think it would be cool to carry her around and wrap her up so nice and neat. Yes indeed yes indeed... (If you read that last bit with a sing-song I'm-talking-to-a-baby voice, it will make sense.) This book gives step-by-step instructions that tell a mother, father, sister, brother, etc., how to wrap a baby in a blanket or other fabric. Less expensive than a carrier cooler, too.

If We Ever Break Up, This is My Book by Jason Logan. I once sat in the Bookstore after my shift and read the whole thing. I've never had a breakup, nor do I seem destined for one in the near future, but I really liked this book anyway. Checklists, pictures, pie charts, profound words... it's great.

I strongly recommend (as I will for every sale) that y'all just go and browse. There are many books that are hardcover, and I didn't look through every section or even write down all the ones I saw in the sections I did look through.

This=harder than I thought.

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Twilight: A Crushing Romance

Tuesday, July 1:

It is generally agreed that the Twilight series, by new author Stephanie Meyer, is a safe romantic haven in a world littered with trashy smut and smutty trash. However, there are still dangers lurking about the seemingly innocent books, as a young BYU Bookstore employee found out today.

The Bookstore employee, who wished to be known only as 'Quiet Mischief,' was somewhat astonished when another Bookstore employee brought up a cart that had over 50 copies of Eclipse on it. QM knew that there were "at least three or four hundred" copies of the three Twilight series books in various places around the store, and she hadn't thought that more were forthcoming. However, knowing her duty, she loaded them onto a v-cart and took them to the display at the end of the Family Relations shelf, which already had about 200 books on it.

"I wasn't sure what to do," QM said. "I mean, here was a messy, tottering, pretty fully display, and I had a ton more books to add to it. After thinking for a while, I went to get a couple more v-carts so I could move enough of the books off to be able to organize everything."

She had just started moving the books to v-carts when it became apparent that they were even more unstable than she had previously supposed. Before she had time to move, the books fell, completely covering her while making a noise that drew the attention of half the store.

"It was crazy," said one Bookstore security officer. "We didn't even know there was a person under there until we had shifted many of the books. She was keeping still, afraid to send more books down on herself, and with her black shirt and red undershirt she blended right in."

The Bookstore spokesperson, when asked for a statement, assured reporters that the employee suffered no harm, but asked patrons to remember to pick up a full set of Twilight books for themselves and friends and family in order to prevent a repeat accident. "Remember that these are classics, books that will surely stand the test of time. Make sure you have enough; we recommend two sets, one paperback, for reading, and one hardback, for displaying with all the other great books in your home."

After being freed and thanking those who had helped her, Quiet Mischief stayed with the display for a full hour - the time it took to dust all the books and arrange them neatly and securely.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Books!

I'm having waaay too much fun over at Goodreads, and I haven't even started doing reviews yet. So far all I've done is find books I have read and put them on my 'read' shelf. And WOW have I ever read a lot of books. I don't feel remotely done, despite the 361 books I have already put in. I'm going to have to spend a few hours at the library to get close to finished.

And while I'm looking for books I have read, I keep finding books I want to read. These books, added to the books I have checked out/want to check out at the library and the interesting books I have seen at the Bookstore, make for more reading than I could finish in the next year, unless I dropped out of school to become a professional reader. Somehow I think my parents would object to this.

So many books, so little time.

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Saturday Sale, June 28

It's Tuesday, which means it's time for me to talk about this Saturday's sale at the BYU Bookstore: 25% off all Travel, Hobbies, and Games books.

Travel is, well, travel. If you're planning to go somewhere, anywhere, then you can probably find a book here that will give you tips on where to stay, what to eat, what to see, and how likely it is that your pocket will be picked during your stay. If you aren't planning to go anywhere, you can buy the books anyway, and then it will look like you're a well-traveled person. See? Winning situation, either way!

Hobbies & Games is a much more interesting section, in my opinion. Mostly because there is a good chance I will be able to play games within the next five years, but I may not be able to travel for the next ten. Curse my insistence on college!

Several times within the past few workdays people have come up to me and asked, "Do you happen to have any books on Sudoku?" My response is, "Boy, do we ever!" at which point a conduct them to the Hobbies & Games section and indicate the four - or is it five? - shelves devoted to sudoku books. And there are all kinds - Ninja, Bronze/Silver/Gold/Platinum, White/Green/Brown/Black Belts, ones with Peanuts and Dilbert comics, ones on sticky Post-It like papers, 10X10 instead of the usual 9X9, and more. I'm not a Sudoku person myself - my brain doesn't work that way - but even I was somewhat interested in the World's Longest Sudoku - 21 feet long, with 167 puzzles and 8,929 empty squares to fill in.

Crossword puzzles are more to my taste (I am so a word person, and not a number person), and there are plenty of those as well. There's also a dictionary filled with answers, which would help me a lot, 'cause I don't know most of the people the crossword puzzles refer to. I am sadly lacking in knowledge when it comes to famous people, current, recent, or past.

There are also many books in between those two giants, such as Ken Jenning's Brainiac ("Didn't get enough of Ken on Jeopardy? Buy this book and keep him with you always!"), several books on chess (Including Chess for Dummies, which would cause my genius brother to roll his eyes), an Official Scrabble Dictionary ("HA! I told you 'pedophiler' wasn't a word!"), and folders for the 50 State Quarters and the Presidential Dollars (WARNING: counting on these folders to be your savings fund is not a good idea). There are also many Klutz books, including one that comes with a real dollar bill, a bunch of special cardboard cutouts that you can use to create a castle, a kit for painting rocks, another kit for painting hair, and the notable Encyclopedia of Immaturity.

Fun stuff. So, go to the Bookstore this Saturday and get some books!

Tune in next Tuesday to find out what July 5th's sale will be.

Edit: There is not one book that comes with a dollar and kits and stuff. There is one book that comes with a dollar, and another that has a castle kit, and another that has a hair kit, etc.

At Chillylint's Request

Ink runs from the corners of my mouth.
There is no happiness like mine.
I have been eating poetry.
The librarian does not believe what she sees.
Her eyes are sad
and she walks with her hands in her dress.

The poems are gone.
The light is dim.
The dogs are on the basement stairs and coming up.

Their eyeballs roll,
their blond legs bum like brush.
The poor librarian begins to stamp her feet and weep.

She does not understand.
When I get on my knees and lick her hand,
she screams.

I am a new man.
I snarl at her and bark.
I romp with joy in the bookish dark.

Eating Poetry by Mark Strand