WARNING! THERE ARE DEFINITELY SPOILERS AHEAD!

OH GREAT HEAVENS ABOVE!!!!

You thought I didn't like Breaking Dawn when I posted the last post? YOU AIN'T SEEN NOTHING YET!!

I have been told, by a couple of different people, more about the the plot of that cursed book. Every bit more that I heard has only made me more upset.

1. Sue name for the Sue baby.
First of all, WHAT IS UP WITH 100 YEAR OLD SPERM MAKING A BABY? No. Just no. I don't see how someone thought this was plausible! In any way, shape, or form! And then there's the oh-so-helpful deus ex machina baby-growing-in-a-few-weeks. Heaven forbid Bella, aka Queen of all Mary Sues, should have to have an actual pregnancy. That would interfere with becoming a vampire! Can't let that get away! And then the name... Reneesme? Reneesme? Remees-freakin'-me?

2. Neatly wrap up all loose ends.
That heartbroken Jake? Ah, don't worry about him. That baby that could have proved to be something of a problem for Bella (read: a real plot)? No problem. Jake, meet... ah... must I really say the name again? And, uh, you kid? Meet Jake. One imprint, stupid nickname, and near murder later, MaryBellaSue hands over the dear kid to Jake. Takes care of them.

3. Avoidance of all plot.
What? Volturi? Aka another possible problem for Bella AKA possibly an interesting plotline to follow? Activate Vampire!Bella powers!

Takes care of that. Whew! Close call! We were that close to a real plot getting in the way of more Bella/Edward time!

4. Bella/Edward time.
Stop with the sex plzthx.

5. Bella.
Need I say more?

Oh, dear. Oh Meyer. Oh STE-PHAN-IE Meyer.

I hate you.