"What on earth do you think you're doing?"
"What?"
"Don't play the innocent with me!! Look at that!"
"Look at what?"
"Provo, Utah, United States!"
"Okay..."
"What do you have to say for yourself?"
"I really don't know what you're getting at."
"Look down there! South Provo! East Bay!"
"Oh."
"What on earth do you think you're doing!!"
"Well, you were busy further up..."
"You still didn't have any right! It's February! This month is mine! And so is most of March and at least some of April! Just because you're mother's favorite -"
"Forgive me for being born the eldest! Look, I didn't mean to - to - infringe on your territory or anything. I just thought a little bit of sunshine -"
"A little bit of sunshine? That girl is wandering around, outside, in a short sleeved shirt!"
"There are crazy people who do that sort of thing -"
"Not that one."
"Okay. Fine. I"m sorry. I didn't think you'd get so - aw man, hail? What are you, a child? And wind? Windy hail?"
"You gunna scold me for throwing a temper tantrum?"
"No, but I really thought you were older than that."
"We can't all be mother's favorite."
"But you don't have to act like a spoiled brat!"
"Fine. I'll soften it to snow."
"Good lad."
"And it will snow half the night and into tomorrow, to make sure you don't get any ideas."
"If you must be that way."
"I must. Now get out of here."
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Friday, February 6, 2009
Subject: whatever yourself
To: writerboy@mmail.com
From: rockjosh@mmail.com
July 6
all i know is that she's a decent girl and unhappy because of you. and she's hot. can't forget that. you're being at least a little bit of a jerk, you must admit. especially with the whole 'lost phone' business.
and maybe i prefer my letters lowercase. to hell with conformity, especially where grammar is involved.
josh
From: rockjosh@mmail.com
July 6
all i know is that she's a decent girl and unhappy because of you. and she's hot. can't forget that. you're being at least a little bit of a jerk, you must admit. especially with the whole 'lost phone' business.
and maybe i prefer my letters lowercase. to hell with conformity, especially where grammar is involved.
josh
Subject: I'm like lightning
To: ForTheMountain@mmail.com
From: writerboy@mmail.com
July 6
I'll admit it; I do check my email obsessively and respond quickly. Responding quickly is the part of being a writer that gets in there and does what needs to be done, writes what needs to be written, and proofreads what doesn't really need to be proofread. Checking email every five minutes is the part of being a writer that tries to put off any actual writing as long as possible. However, no matter how neurotic I might be, I don't care if it takes you a while to respond. I really don't, I promise.
I'm going to argue about number 2 with you next time I see you in person. Be prepared.
I have to admit that I am only a mild fan of the Bard myself. That's how I know I'm a little insane for being in the English major for any length of time. Musicals, though... what is so cool about a play that has everyone bursting into song all the time? I don't get it.
My dreams are odd, too, but I cut out most of the really odd stuff before I actually start trying to put it to paper. You should see some of my summaries if you're looking for 'odd.' And I keep trying to spell 'odd' with two o's for some reason.
I can well believe you got some pictures of me last night - you got pictures of everything last night - but I doubt that they're good. Unless your use of the word 'good' really meant something along the lines of 'hilariously bad.'
I don't suppose you and your friends could plan to have an impromptu party on Friday and then invite me? I have some friends I'd like to avoid.
Matt
From: writerboy@mmail.com
July 6
I'll admit it; I do check my email obsessively and respond quickly. Responding quickly is the part of being a writer that gets in there and does what needs to be done, writes what needs to be written, and proofreads what doesn't really need to be proofread. Checking email every five minutes is the part of being a writer that tries to put off any actual writing as long as possible. However, no matter how neurotic I might be, I don't care if it takes you a while to respond. I really don't, I promise.
I'm going to argue about number 2 with you next time I see you in person. Be prepared.
I have to admit that I am only a mild fan of the Bard myself. That's how I know I'm a little insane for being in the English major for any length of time. Musicals, though... what is so cool about a play that has everyone bursting into song all the time? I don't get it.
My dreams are odd, too, but I cut out most of the really odd stuff before I actually start trying to put it to paper. You should see some of my summaries if you're looking for 'odd.' And I keep trying to spell 'odd' with two o's for some reason.
I can well believe you got some pictures of me last night - you got pictures of everything last night - but I doubt that they're good. Unless your use of the word 'good' really meant something along the lines of 'hilariously bad.'
I don't suppose you and your friends could plan to have an impromptu party on Friday and then invite me? I have some friends I'd like to avoid.
Matt
Subject: Surprised
To: writerboy@mmail.com
From: ForTheMountain@mmail.com
July 5
Well that was quick. Severe is my chastisement; I don't get back to you for a week, and then you reply in under half an hour. And I hope 'posthaste' means 'as soon as you get this' and not 'immediately,' because I am not one to check my email obsessively. Sorry. You'll just have to wait a few hours/until the next day after work for me to read things.
Of course I'm not kidding about number 2. ; ) And yes, everyone is a little bit crazy, so I suppose that is normal. If you must be so specific.
Psh, who needs classics? I must admit that I have never been really fond of Shakespeare. I mean, yeah, great writer, but man they're hard to get through on paper. And only a little less hard on stage. Give me a flamboyant musical any day of the week and leave Shakespeare to those who are stuffy like that. ; )
Okay, how on earth do you plan an impromptu party? Just asking. Though I am glad you like my friends. I'll drop you an email next time we plan to get together - it's usually spontaneous, but you're so on top of your email that it probably won't matter that I don't have your phone number.
Dreams? Really? I mean, I'd heard that ideas come from there, but... I dunno... my dreams are always pretty odd. Your ideas are odd, too, but not nearly as odd as my dreams.
And speaking of photography, I got some great ones of you last night. Remind me to show them to you sometime. Well, I suppose I could send them to you... nah. Too lazy. ; D
Abby
From: ForTheMountain@mmail.com
July 5
Well that was quick. Severe is my chastisement; I don't get back to you for a week, and then you reply in under half an hour. And I hope 'posthaste' means 'as soon as you get this' and not 'immediately,' because I am not one to check my email obsessively. Sorry. You'll just have to wait a few hours/until the next day after work for me to read things.
Of course I'm not kidding about number 2. ; ) And yes, everyone is a little bit crazy, so I suppose that is normal. If you must be so specific.
Psh, who needs classics? I must admit that I have never been really fond of Shakespeare. I mean, yeah, great writer, but man they're hard to get through on paper. And only a little less hard on stage. Give me a flamboyant musical any day of the week and leave Shakespeare to those who are stuffy like that. ; )
Okay, how on earth do you plan an impromptu party? Just asking. Though I am glad you like my friends. I'll drop you an email next time we plan to get together - it's usually spontaneous, but you're so on top of your email that it probably won't matter that I don't have your phone number.
Dreams? Really? I mean, I'd heard that ideas come from there, but... I dunno... my dreams are always pretty odd. Your ideas are odd, too, but not nearly as odd as my dreams.
And speaking of photography, I got some great ones of you last night. Remind me to show them to you sometime. Well, I suppose I could send them to you... nah. Too lazy. ; D
Abby
Subject: *sigh*
To: writerboy@mmail.com
From: the_cute_one41@gotmail.com
I know you've never been a phone person, but you have always been an email person. You can't live without checking at least once an hour. So I'm starting to think that you're ignoring me. I feel loved.
~Millie
From: the_cute_one41@gotmail.com
I know you've never been a phone person, but you have always been an email person. You can't live without checking at least once an hour. So I'm starting to think that you're ignoring me. I feel loved.
~Millie
Subject: Whatever
To: rockjosh@mmail.com
From: writerboy@mmail.com
July 6
You must be kidding me. Do you even listen to/read yourself? "[S]ure, she offended you. [S]he offends everyone. [S]he doesn't really mean it." First of all, have you ever heard of the shift key? Secondly, doesn't the fact that she offends everyone rather contradict you saying that she doesn't really mean it?
I don't care how much she likes me; I do not appreciate her attitude. And I'm surprised to see you standing up for her like that.
Matt
From: writerboy@mmail.com
July 6
You must be kidding me. Do you even listen to/read yourself? "[S]ure, she offended you. [S]he offends everyone. [S]he doesn't really mean it." First of all, have you ever heard of the shift key? Secondly, doesn't the fact that she offends everyone rather contradict you saying that she doesn't really mean it?
I don't care how much she likes me; I do not appreciate her attitude. And I'm surprised to see you standing up for her like that.
Matt
Subject: you child
To: writerboy@mmail.com
From: rockjosh@mmail.com
July 5
okay, jasmine is not leaving me alone. she keeps calling me, wanting to know what is wrong with you and why you're lying to her and avoiding her... not cool, bro. get her off my back. and quit sulking. sure, she offended you. she offends everyone. she doesn't really mean it. and she really does like you, a lot. also, if you don't get your butt in gear and talk to her, she's going to hunt you down at your apartment.
don't say I didn't warn you.
josh
From: rockjosh@mmail.com
July 5
okay, jasmine is not leaving me alone. she keeps calling me, wanting to know what is wrong with you and why you're lying to her and avoiding her... not cool, bro. get her off my back. and quit sulking. sure, she offended you. she offends everyone. she doesn't really mean it. and she really does like you, a lot. also, if you don't get your butt in gear and talk to her, she's going to hunt you down at your apartment.
don't say I didn't warn you.
josh
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Subject: ...
To: writerboy@mmail.com
From: the_cute_one41@gotmail.com
July 5
Oh, that is so not going to cut it, sweetheart. Explaining why you weren't answering your phone was only a part of my email, and a very small part at that. Why did you leave the party? And where on earth did you go? I drove past your apartment on my way home at four in the morning and your car wasn't there.
EXPLAIN.
~Millie
From: the_cute_one41@gotmail.com
July 5
Oh, that is so not going to cut it, sweetheart. Explaining why you weren't answering your phone was only a part of my email, and a very small part at that. Why did you leave the party? And where on earth did you go? I drove past your apartment on my way home at four in the morning and your car wasn't there.
EXPLAIN.
~Millie
Subject: Huzzah for answers!
To: ForTheMountain@mmail.com
From: writerboy@mmail.com
July 5
You must be kidding about number 2. Please tell me you're kidding about number 2!
Also, it seems that you consider the 'normal' people to be the ones that realize they're a little bit crazy. Am I right?
See, that's what I've been thinking. So I suppose I'm right, now that you're independently backing me up. I love writing, but all those theories... and then there's the fact that I've never really been a fan of most of the so-called classics. Call me a heathen, but I just don't go for those things.
I suppose I should have never even considered the English major. I am a little insane.
Never mind about the situation I was asking about - I've scrapped the idea for now.
I actually loved your friends, by the way. I seem to have gotten myself mixed up in a crowd that thinks the amount of fun being had depends on how much noise is being made. Your friends know how to have fun at a reasonable volume. I wouldn't mind getting to know them better - I don't suppose you have any post-Fourth parties in planning? Even impromptu ones?
I get my story ideas from everywhere. Most mornings I get on my computer soon after waking up to write down a brief summary of my dream. Some great stories have come from my subconscious. I sometimes find a person that I think is really interesting, turn them into a character, and build a story around them. Sometimes they just pop into my head. I remember one day I was wandering across campus listening to some music and suddenly got an idea for a story. When you're a writer, story ideas are everywhere. It's just like photography - you see things that other people don't.
Don't worry, I forgive you for not answering. I know life can get crazy.
That said, I expect an answer to this email posthaste!
(Just joking.)
Matt
From: writerboy@mmail.com
July 5
You must be kidding about number 2. Please tell me you're kidding about number 2!
Also, it seems that you consider the 'normal' people to be the ones that realize they're a little bit crazy. Am I right?
See, that's what I've been thinking. So I suppose I'm right, now that you're independently backing me up. I love writing, but all those theories... and then there's the fact that I've never really been a fan of most of the so-called classics. Call me a heathen, but I just don't go for those things.
I suppose I should have never even considered the English major. I am a little insane.
Never mind about the situation I was asking about - I've scrapped the idea for now.
I actually loved your friends, by the way. I seem to have gotten myself mixed up in a crowd that thinks the amount of fun being had depends on how much noise is being made. Your friends know how to have fun at a reasonable volume. I wouldn't mind getting to know them better - I don't suppose you have any post-Fourth parties in planning? Even impromptu ones?
I get my story ideas from everywhere. Most mornings I get on my computer soon after waking up to write down a brief summary of my dream. Some great stories have come from my subconscious. I sometimes find a person that I think is really interesting, turn them into a character, and build a story around them. Sometimes they just pop into my head. I remember one day I was wandering across campus listening to some music and suddenly got an idea for a story. When you're a writer, story ideas are everywhere. It's just like photography - you see things that other people don't.
Don't worry, I forgive you for not answering. I know life can get crazy.
That said, I expect an answer to this email posthaste!
(Just joking.)
Matt
Subject: Answers (finally)
To: writerboy@mmail.com
From: ForTheMountain@mmail.com
July 5
I hope my friends haven't terrorized and traumatized you too much. They're a rowdy bunch. As you now know firsthand.
Anyway, seeing you is finally getting me to answer your last email. And may I say you ask the oddest questions.
1. You've met my parents. You be the judge.
2. Sixteen.
3. In my mind, there are three degrees of crazy: where you think you're sane, where you know you're insane but go with it, and where you're beyond help. It's best to realize you're a little insane and go with it. When I first met you, you certainly thought you were sane, but you seem to be slowly realizing and accepting how wacky you are.
4. All I have to say is, "My eyes are fully opened to my awful situation..." ; )
5. Why would you want to major in English? Too much non-fun writing. I say go for directing. If that's what you want, that's what you should do.
6. I'm a what? And I'm talking to a what? And why? You're going to have to explain this one a bit better if you really want me to give you any sort of answer. Right now I'm a little lost.
And with that last question of yours in mind, I want to ask one: where on earth do you get those odd ideas for stories?
Feel no need to write back soon - if I can go a week without answering, I deserve a week or more without an answer. ; )
Abby
From: ForTheMountain@mmail.com
July 5
I hope my friends haven't terrorized and traumatized you too much. They're a rowdy bunch. As you now know firsthand.
Anyway, seeing you is finally getting me to answer your last email. And may I say you ask the oddest questions.
1. You've met my parents. You be the judge.
2. Sixteen.
3. In my mind, there are three degrees of crazy: where you think you're sane, where you know you're insane but go with it, and where you're beyond help. It's best to realize you're a little insane and go with it. When I first met you, you certainly thought you were sane, but you seem to be slowly realizing and accepting how wacky you are.
4. All I have to say is, "My eyes are fully opened to my awful situation..." ; )
5. Why would you want to major in English? Too much non-fun writing. I say go for directing. If that's what you want, that's what you should do.
6. I'm a what? And I'm talking to a what? And why? You're going to have to explain this one a bit better if you really want me to give you any sort of answer. Right now I'm a little lost.
And with that last question of yours in mind, I want to ask one: where on earth do you get those odd ideas for stories?
Feel no need to write back soon - if I can go a week without answering, I deserve a week or more without an answer. ; )
Abby
Subject: right
To: writerboy@mmail.com
From: sassychick@mmail.com
July 5
you liar. youre ignornig me arent you. sulking just like josh says.
come on you know i love you. i wish you would quit taking everything i say so seriously and personally.
_jas_
From: sassychick@mmail.com
July 5
you liar. youre ignornig me arent you. sulking just like josh says.
come on you know i love you. i wish you would quit taking everything i say so seriously and personally.
_jas_
Subject: (no subject)
To: sassychick@mmail.com, the_cute_one41@gotmail.com
From: writerboy@mmail.com
July 5
I've misplaced my phone. That's why I'm not answering texts or calls. Also, I only woke up an hour or so ago. I was up really late last night.
Matt
From: writerboy@mmail.com
July 5
I've misplaced my phone. That's why I'm not answering texts or calls. Also, I only woke up an hour or so ago. I was up really late last night.
Matt
Subject: ?
To: writerboy@mmail.com
From: the_cute_one41@gotmail.com
July 5
First you leave the party early without saying anything to anyone - we only know you left because Josh caught you in the doorway - and now you won't you answer my calls? You had better explain yourself, dear boy.
~Millie
From: the_cute_one41@gotmail.com
July 5
First you leave the party early without saying anything to anyone - we only know you left because Josh caught you in the doorway - and now you won't you answer my calls? You had better explain yourself, dear boy.
~Millie
Subject: silly boy
To: writerboy@mmail.com
From: sassychick@mmail.com
July 5
you wont answer my texts so im emailing you. perhaps you will answer me now.
josh says I offended you. really? what did I say? it seems like im always offending you. i dont mean to. and you know it.
_jas_
From: sassychick@mmail.com
July 5
you wont answer my texts so im emailing you. perhaps you will answer me now.
josh says I offended you. really? what did I say? it seems like im always offending you. i dont mean to. and you know it.
_jas_
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